Ambivalence
If it comes down to picking sides, I would like to think the people I would give my life for would choose me fully, completely and wholeheartedly. In short, I would like to be top priority of the person whom I put as top priority. But I’d never ask and I never want to know, because I doubt I could cope if you hesitated for a split second or if the answer was anything less. As much as one can attempt to reach the ideal state of unconditional giving and loving, most of the time there are invisible strings attached and unwelcome expectations. Would you still give everything and nothing less if you knew it was guaranteed that you had to lose something of comparative importance? Any answer less than an immediate and honest-to-goodness ‘yes’ warrants a second look at your false notion of magnanimity.
